The "good" LIEf

Humans, we are amazing... we seem to have this innate desire to believe in each other. Rousseau's "simple" idea stating all humans are genuinely and intrinsically good and noble in their hearts, has left me impatient. I am guilty of giving people the benefit of the doubt... and I don't doubt many of you are as well. For me personally, I have realized hurt is much more powerful when you allow it to happen. The thought of being able to have avoided said pain or agony tends to also bring on feelings of regret. With that being said... after 25 years of believing in someone, I became desensitized towards particular situations. I decided to remove myself from the following equation: Allen Pater (dad) + Alexandria Pater (me) = big fat let down. I wish I could say the same for my sisters. Bless their hearts, but they bear a striking resemblance to Kentucky Derby horses; you know, the ones with the blinders on either sides of their eyes. Smacking one of them in the side of the head could startle the poor horse as they would not see it coming. However, after years of being stood up, ignored and rejected by our so-called "father," you would imagine the Pater-girls could feel the stinging smack of a letdown lingering from years passed.

It is so amazing to me how our hearts tend to be our biggest enemies at times. As I mentioned in a previous blog, we have this "gift" (I say curse) to forget just why we decided to remove ourselves from certain equations in the past. We find ourselves believing the real enemy (ex-boyfriend, dad, ex-friend... what have you) wanting things to be better, like the "good times." We want to believe Rousseau... that people are "good." In such an influential world, people should be able to change. Perhaps that is why we allow ourselves to be repeatedly letdown. Unfortunately sometimes, we must take things for what they are worth and live in the moment without the expectations... we may be pleasantly surprised. I like surprises better than letdowns... Easier said than done, I know. Just rework your equations... Mine currently reads: Jennifer Bradley (momma) + Allen Pater (sperm donor) = Alexandria Pater (me, and my LIEf). 

I love you Jo.

xxYour LIEfer.